Best Coast - "Happy"

Best Coast - "Bratty B"

Don't be afraid.

(Is it possible to have a blister under a blister? Yes. I have one.)

I wish I had a way to get into certain peoples' heads. It would make living day by day much easier. If I knew that I wasn't alone in this mindset, I would feel much better. I wouldn't be afraid for the future.

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - "Think I Wanna Die"

Tanya Davis- Subtlety Spoken Word Performance

Love is simple.

Everybody uses somebody at one point or another. Eventually that person finds out and their heart is broken.

See. Love is simple. Either you both love each other equally or not at all.

I'd have to say that I've loved someone that I lost as soon as I decided to go away. You know that cliche saying: if you love someone, let them go? Well it proves to be true time and time again. If you're not going to let me grow, live my own life, then I'm not coming back; You never had me. But if you support the person you love and let them fly on their own, make their own mistakes, they'll fly back to you each and everyday because they find comfort in the arms that hold them - not constraint.

Throughout this mess, (an over dramatized mess at that) I've learned more about who I am and who I want to be by being told who I should be. In a relationship, there is a need for compromise. If your partner likes action movies and you just LOVE classics, suck it up and watch some mindless violence. But when you constantly feel the need to defend your actions and define yourself to the person that should love you, then compromise is out of the question. The single life is calling for you. It is a time to enjoy yourself because you are lovely and you should be able to love yourself in the simplest moments.

Akron/Family - "Don't Be Afraid, You're Already Dead"

From skins season 5 episode 3!

Coffee was made by the devil

and so was stress. This year is almost over though, so I'm excited to be back at home, hopefully working. But for now I'm going to sleep 6 hours and day and spend most of my time in the library. Also, I must attend to my burnt arm, my blistered feet and lack of appetite. This mess could easily be cured by a few hours lying on a beach somewhere... too bad I'm in beautifully cold Kingston. Damn I wish it were warm. I'm going to miss this place of course, even Vic Hall. It'll be so nice to have my own house though!

I'm sick of being so dramatic all the time. March resolution: Stop being such a tool ;) and make it to April alive!

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "Over and Over Again (Lost & Found)"

Lover's Feud

So I was watching Family Feud with my family last week. The host asked the people to name the top five things that might remind someone of their ex.

1. A date/anniversary
2. A scent/cologne
3. A place
4. Gifts
5. And I can't remember the last one... but it sure as hell wasn't Reverse Decadence Chocolate Chip Cookies from President's Choice. I was standing in Zehrs, grocery shopping, when I saw them and held back tears until I realized how pathetic I was being.

I found an interesting article today:

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Throw Away Reminders of an Ex

By Michelle Knudson

Every person feels some kind of hurtful emotion when a romance relationship ends. We often get so upset that we end up throwing out everything that reminds us of the ex. Sometimes we throw out things that he or she gave

Here are four reasons why you shouldn't throw away reminders of an ex.

Regrets

We will end up with regrets when we throw out things of someone that was special to us at one time in our life.

You may realize that you do love him or her

He or she is going to feel terrible when they find out that you threw out everything about them. You may need to explain yourself, but in the end it will still hurt them despite what you say. If you two get back together after you threw out everything then they will always, in the back of their mind, know how you once felt.

You can't get it back once pictures and things are gone

Pictures of fond memories and things are the only thing that we have left when we are no longer with the person. A fit of anger can cost us a lifetime of memories that we once lived from day to day to be with that person. Romance love is not something that we should take for granted. No person on the face of the earth is the same person. Nobody is ever the same as someone else is.

You might find closure with things that bring happy memories of the person

Closure can often bring us all a sense of happiness. Things that trigger happy memories with the person will often bring us closure when our heart hurts. We may cry here and there, but sometimes it does mend the heart. Tears over someone that we love are a normal reaction that nearly everyone has been through in life. Closure does not mean that we don't love that person anymore it simply means that we can finally move on without crying every time someone mentions their name.

The Beatles - "All You Need is Love"

Last night: Friend time!

I had so much fun with all my high school friends last night: Alyssa, Maddy, Adam, Jenny, Sam, Rachel, Dino and Alyssa's boyfriend Nevin. We went out for dinner at Turtle Jacks and discussed many inappropriate topics in front of the waitress... then went to see I am Number Four. It was one of those movies that is just so terrible, but you're with good people so you make the best of it by laughing at cheesy lines and making many dumb jokes.

I feel so lucky that I have so many great people in my life. They make dark days seem distant (hurray for cheesy lines!)

That girl.

I told myself that I want to be alone. I don't want to become that girl that goes from relationship to relationship because she can't love herself without someone else loving her. I've been alone before, but I didn't love myself. I've been a relationship, but I relied on him to love me. And now I'm alone again, but this time things will be different.

Sufjan Stevens - "Casimir Pulaski Day"

Chris Brown - "Forever"

This song always reminds me of the Office episode where Jim and Pam get married. Smiles!

I can watch a sunset on my own.

People clash and collide so often, some are just not meant to stick together. I guess what I'm saying is that I could never hate someone that didn't want to stick. I completely understand why they might not want to.

"Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it." - American History X

Adele - "First love"

Lies I tell myself.

"We were like strangers who knew each other very well." - Big Fish (2003)

Sometimes when you miss someone so much it hurts, the only thing you can do is to let them move on and leave them be. Even if you think about them everyday, that is your own pain to bear. Calling them up just to tell them about it wont change anything, it'll just hurt more when it turns out that they don't care.

The Supremes - "You Can't Hurry Love"

Oh boy, I'm in love again!

I'm pretty sure I found the shoes I'm going to get married in, give birth in and get buried in!

my bolding beating heart!

sunny-eyed surprise!
love and kittens! almost as good as kitten mittens ;)
my boldly beating heart just keeps on beating!

Said the Whale - "A Gift From A Black Heart"

I am the girl with the black heart XD jokes.

Things I shouldn't forget (but do anyway) when I'm sad:

- the kindness of strangers and the great feelings involved with helping them
- how I love to thank bus drivers
- friendly hockey rivalries
- short elevator conversations- seeing people you haven't seen in a long time and exchanging stories
- planning outings with old friends
- the smell of laundry, who knew that doing chores could smell so good?
- the warming loveliness of mittens on a cold winter's walk
- the great taste of leftover pasta!- movie romances that would never happen in real life, but I secretly hope they do
- that I shouldn't take myself so freaking seriously- if I don't love myself, no one will
- people make mistakes; they also tend to forget about good memories when they're concentrating on the bad ones
- I should wake up and go to sleep loving myself
- and FINALLY:

you never truly lose anyone, not as long as you love them

Losing Love, Hold on Tight.

Last night I was lying in bed and someone in the hall was showering. It reminded me of when I was a kid.

I'd be laying awake in my bed waiting for my mom to finish showering so she could come say goodnight and I could finally sleep. I was at that young age where it wasn't awkward to say "I love you and let Dad know that I love him too." It makes me sad to think that I went through a phase where I stopped saying that I loved them, just because I felt like I had to grow up.

Now I've reached that age where I just can't help but tell the ones that I love how I feel about them. I tell them because I've experienced the feeling of losing someone I love. I guess that's why I'm holding on so tightly to my old love. I have this image in my mind where we were both happy to be talking to each other. And no matter how many times I tell myself how stupid it is to think this way, I can't help but hope deep down he is the same person. I don't want to accept that I broke things beyond repair, I don't want to lose my friend forever, and I don't want to cry myself to sleep because I know I can't do anything to fix this.

Tchaikovsky - "None But The Lonely Hearts"

This music reminds me of all of the endings of old romance movies.

While You Were Sleeping (1995)

"Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person *really* knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that YOU were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?" - Lucy

Born Ruffians - "Hummingbird"

I love this song so much :D

The Mountain Goats - "Sax Rohmer #1"

A super creative video!

Grandaddy - "Nature Anthem"

Grizzly Bear - "Ready, Able"

This video is so... fucked.