I'm guessing that thousands of teen aged girls and maybe even some boys have had the trouble with growing up, and growing in size. I know that I'm not "fat" but, I am a "big" girl. Oh, have I learned to despise the phrase " you aren't fat, you're big boned..." Well, these big bones are really annoyed with skinny people. Here's the truth, big girls want to be skinny and skinny girls want to be skinnier, with the big girl's tits. I can't remember the exact date when I realized that my body had changed drastically, but when trying on clothes became a continuous river of disappointment followed by a huge decrease in self esteem, I just simply can't find the fun in it anymore. I want to feel beautiful, sure, some people say that I am, but I just don't feel beautiful. Like what sixteen year old girl has stretch marks? Inside I know that many do, but no one has the guts to admit it. I could never tell shout it from the roof tops. This blog just lets me, it's like talking to a robot. But, back to my image issues, it's usually at night that I feel crappy. In the morning I may look like crap, but I don't feel like it. I wish that more people would be comfortable with talking about themselves. Or, maybe they don't need to, they've already coped with what they've got. I've found ways to feel beautiful, doing my hair, painting my nails, day-dreaming about sexy Christian Bale and working out. The way I've learned to look at it, is something like most of the world's population can't afford plastic surgery to improve their appearance, so I guess I will eventually find another person to love my image issues, including the curves and stretch marks. Until then, I'll have to start coping with what I got. And, start hitting myself when ever I feel crappy, cause there are many people that have bigger problems than I do.
