Me Month

aka self-love, super improvement, (to please no one but yourself!) month. I only started yesterday, so I'll go for 29 more days after today.

Here are my goals!

1. 1 hour of yoga everyday. (He reminds me of my bro!)2. Drink lots of water. Yeah!3. Eat healthy, stay away from pop, beer, chips and fried foods... and while I eat healthy I must look great too!4. Whiten my teeth with white strips (and smile awkwardly...)5. Stop straightening my hair so often so it will grow faster. (This guy knows what's up.)6. Do my readings for class. I actually don't find studying boring at all!7. Have a positive attitude :D like this monkey. He's so happy on his happy birthday!

If I follow a strict schedule, I think I will easily be able to achieve my goals! (I'm whitening my teeth right now :) and if I feel happier, stronger and most importantly - loved by myself, I'll stick with it... I probably wont do yoga for an hour everyday next month, but I'll switch to high intensity 3 times a week or if it's nice, I'll start running outside again.

Classical Music

I love this playlist on youtube. It's called Classical Music for Relaxation. It is so pretty and charming. Although, some of the music is so sad. It helps me study and think. I love how it makes nothing else but the music matter, if not but for a few minutes.

I love you less, now that I know you.

On Wednesday I had to make the 20 min walk to West Campus for my 3 hour psychology class. I was alone, but I had my music. I was listening to "Walking on a Dream" by Empire of the Sun.
So, I was making the snowy trek to my class. It was so cold outside, but I didn't feel it. It was one of those rare moments when you just realize that all worries about yourself, your head, your heart: are not important. I just watched the snow fall, smiled at people passing by and enjoyed the peace of a peaceful mind. It wasn't that I forgot about all my troubles, my regrets, my sadness caused by all the things I've done to other people, worrying what they think of me - hating me; it was that I was somehow elevated above, looking down on problems and saying: All I need is me. Because in all of this giant universe of ours, no one will really understand us and get us as well as we, ourselves, do. Of course there will be that person who you talk to constantly, perhaps the person will love you forever and die holding your hand, but they can never get inside your head - you will always think first and tell them later. You are the primary objective. Selfishness is key to self love.
And ya, breaking up is hard, because you lose the person so close to fully understanding you. But they're never really there if you fight over the same things and they don't support your dreams. After all, what's worse than loving someone - someone so close to you, that sees you as plainly as you see yourself - who doesn't accept you and holds you back. To allow someone to hold you down, you're showing how much you hate yourself.My goal is to meet a person who ignores little common annoyances. What I mean by this is that they will see me as a separate person. Way too often people try to latch on to another and control the outcome of their lives. I'm all for loving someone so completely that your heart jumps at the sight of them and you are an emotional mess, but people need their own lives too.

This is all I ask:

Let me be proud of who I am,
let me change myself (I will still love you all the same),
then let me grow up in this crazy world (I'll hold your hand if I need to),

let me learn new things everyday,
let me stress out and worry about my future,
then let me have space to get better,

let me wear the clothes I like,
let me tattoo my body if I want to (I'm only hurting myself),
then let me confess my mistakes (I have many),

let me be free,
let me go and
then (please) let me come back when I'm really.

I'd do the same for you.

Sleepy Zen Music

I listen to this music if I'm having trouble falling asleep. I usually lay in the corpse pose and I can feel my entire body going numb. Sometimes when I feel myself getting angry, sad, worried or stressed in anyway, I just turn this music on, close my eyes and breathe deeply, letting my heart beat slow. Soon there are no worries in my mind and I'm free from whatever event or feeling that threatened me.