Otis Redding -"Sitting on the dock of the bay"

The Ridiculousness

A pebble dropped in water comes to mind when I think about life in general. The way I see it is like we're all trying to make a big impact, yet the truth is - the only real impact we're making is an emotional impact on others.

This pebble has hurt others in the past and has been hurt in return. It's always surprising to see those same people moving on from what seem like such a large devistating moments. But the thing is, that moment eventually becomes completely insignificant to everyone else but the guilty party. The guilty one is left to assume, regret and ridicule themselves to no end. Maybe if we could see the people we hurt move on, then we too could move on. For the majority of the times in which we inflict pain, this cannot be done. And so, we are left with our self hatred. How can someone get out of this spiral? Does the end lie in trusting oneself again?

For one, it's all about trusting that you have the right judgement when it comes to others. Having "trust issues" seems a universal personal problem with which we can easily dismiss our pain and frustrations. Maybe having trust issues isn't an entirely negative thing. In my experience, people don't intentionally hurt you - but their actions are none-the-less careless and inconsiderate. Being cautious before jumping headfirst into love has the potential to save you from the ridiculousness.

Now the ridiculousness occurs when two people start a passionate relationship where everything appears to be perfect: they could talk for hours, they think about each other all the time, they become reliant on one another for happiness, and they fuck like bunnies. But eventually - ridiculousness kicks in and they become miserable and fed up with each other. They didn't take the time to discover the small things - infidelities, dependency, untrustworthiness, overprotectiveness - that could possibly destroy the passion in their relationship.

So I guess the conclusion I come to is that we have to realize that there is no such thing as perfect as long as we are human. We should enjoy the fun found in having relationships with others. Yet, we should never lose ourselves in the devastation of the waves of careless pebbles.

Cat Power - "Wonderwall Cover"

This cover makes me like the original so much better. Cat Power is the shit.

Incubus - "Drive"

Hello childhood.

Oasis - "Wonderwall"

Oldie but goodie.

LCD Soundsystem - "Dance Yrself Clean"

This song is 9 mins long... and it neeeeds to be longer !!!

LCD Soundsystem - "New York, I Love You"

I'm getting kinda sick of being home. There's only so much love I can handle. I miss being on my own. Taking care of myself was fun, but now I'm back home and it's as if I never grew up. And I'm starting to believe that I didn't. I never expected this - even though I should have. After all, I remember my sis hating being home after first year.

I've started running 5K again. I forgot how much I love it. And it's been so long that it hurts and that I feel like giving up. I know I won't though. I love how it's a challenge. One I know I can overcome with time. I ran it in 35 mins - so I'm super out of shape.

I've always heard about LCD Soundsystem, but never took the time to listen to them. I'm glad I finally did. I've been staying up all night lately and it's a perfect time to find new music.