Love is a lovely joke.

I hate the fact I allowed myself to hate someone who loved me. Sure, it's over. But, now I need to realize I was on a roller-coaster ride of emotional foolishness. Hmm. That pretty much sums up love.

(I googled roller-coaster of love and this came up. It completely and accurately sums up the rest of my post.)

The build up is great and your heartbeat deafens your ears - then you fall madly, letting go of everything but the moment. Your head is lost and you grab onto the only person as lost and as scared as you are. But soon you'll find there will be inevitable lulls between the ups and the downs. This is where the ride is truly tested. Will they hold your hand no matter what and talk you through the suspense? And if, at the end, you make it through without puking... you've found the one.

That's right. I said it.

YEAHHHH

On a stop light green means go and yellow means slow down, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the fuck did you get that banana at?'

FMyLife always makes me feel better!

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML