He Has Moved On

So ya, I dumped a guy because we made each other miserable. For awhile I thought I would be ok. I didn't think about him every second of everyday. I pursued other guys and knowing that other guys liked me helped as well. He would call me at least 2-3 times a week to try and win me back. Me: thinking that I was already over him, told him to get over me and start dating other people. Now we haven't talked in weeks and I'm at home surrounded by memories. And to top it all off it's fucking Christmas, where all the songs are about spending Christmas with the one you love or spending it miserable and alone. So, now I know exactly how he was feeling when he said that he thinks about me everyday. I know that he's probably not anymore. That's a reasonable assumption. He said something about dreaming about me despite trying to get over me.


I had a dream last night that I was alone at an amusement park. I love the ferris wheel, so I was got on alone and when I was waiting for it to start, he got in with me. He didn't say anything, just sat beside me and let me rest my head on his shoulder while he put his arm around me. (I miss the little things.) And then I woke up. I wanted to go back so badly that I stayed all day in bed.

I'm like the kid that doesn't want a toy when no one's playing with it, but as soon as it's taken away she cries and cries and begs for it back. I just want to be normal again. Happy.