Laughing at Yourself Doesn't Accomplish Anything

I've done many stupid things in my life. I've been ashamed, hated, pitied and saved. But, of all the stupid things that I've done that Canada Day is in first place. My father thinks that it is funny to tell everyone and anyone that will listen. Does he think it's funny that his daughter made a mistake? His other perfect daughter would never do anything that would make him upset -- then happy that he has a freaking story to tell to the neighbours. For me it's in the past. For him, it should be brought up at any mention of alcohol and I should laugh. Then why the fuck do I feel like crying? There was nothing funny about it. My heart was beating irregularly. What if it had stopped? Please stop laughing at something that I'm ashamed of, a part of myself that I've gotten over and it has become a part of who I am. Please stop picking at scars. Please stop reminding everyone. Please stop laughing at me.